Observing May

May is a killer.
No really, an absolute killer,
Graduations, end of year banquets, end of year pictures, awards assemblies, end of year permission slips flying around, outfits and shoes needed for the events, and the list goes on and on and on and on.
May is a killer.

Here's what I have observed:

-I am handing out money and checks on an hourly, possibly minute by minute, basis. 
-We are never going to be prepared a week or two ahead of time with a complete outfit. One of the girls will always be yelling, "I need shoes, bra, belt, white button down (insert item here)" an hour before we leave.
-When the weather goes south before an event, there are a lot of moms standing around looking cold and pissed in an outfit that was carefully planned for months around a different weather outlook and dammit we are middle aged and not deviating from the plan
-Awards ceremonies are attended 50/50 by parents who were dying to come, and parents who are over it
-The physics Rube Goldberg Project (I may not even be spelling or naming it correctly) is fuckery...every time no matter the child or their dedication to it
-Unless the awards have a category for sarcasm or funny...we aren't getting one
-I don't need to take a group picture. Someone always takes a better one than me and I can steal it from Facebook
-This was the best May of my life because I don't work. I have zero idea how I did May for 21 years and worked.
-Someone is always going to say this sentence to me at a May event. "You have four girls? I had no idea. I thought you only had three." Which basically means I had kids through two different age groups so many of these moms have never even seen my oldest child. That and I'm not promoting my blog enough.
-Moving the Middle School awards assembly to a venue with chairs that are both cushioned and have backs was thrilling. I have decided to get the principal a gift card. 
-My husband is never going to know where our kids are on any given night. Even though they have been at the same place, on the same night at the same time for the last nine months. In May he will still say (more than once), "Where do I get Mary?"
-I am always going to lose my shit at some point over something totally stupid and with the wrong kid (sorry Paige, this morning it was you).
-The best life lessons for my girls have come from their low moments in May. Their highest moments have come the next May, when the built themselves back up.
-Now that I don't work, my house does not look like a crack house in May...but the high school Junior's room still does.
-Someone is always going to surprise you in May. Good or Bad you are always going to have a surprise.

We are nearing the end. A week and some change left. Breathe, carry lots of cash, and be ready for summer. 
May is a killer.

Wild Kingdom, Wild Cats Edition

I am having a surreal moment in time. I find myself sitting in the bar area of the Embassy Suites in Portland near the airport. The middle age couple next to me are dressed as Cinderella and I guess Prince Charming. I don't know my Disney Princes. They have told others they are attending a charity event. They should have spent more time on the costumes. It isn't a good look, not even for the Portland Airport Embassy Suites free cocktail reception. 

Behind the couple the TV is on. Fairly typical, except for what is playing on the TV. Not sports, not news, but a Wild Kingdom show on Wild Cats with a very 1970's vibe to it's presentation. Narrated by a man who I feel did the narration for all the videos I saw in Jr. High science classes when the teacher still showed them on a large reel and fed it through a projector. Interestingly, several tables are watching the wild cats. Couples most of them. Middle age couples not dressed as Disney characters. I wonder if Corey were here if we would be watching. Have we run out of things to talk about? Have we reached Wild Kingdom, Wild Cat edition status in our marriage yet? Probably not. We have teenagers, and wine is being served and I get chatty after wine so there is still lots to discuss.  But I am concerned about the couples that are silently engrossed in the show. To be fair, it could be the age of the people watching. It could be we are all just the right age that the narration voice is drawing us in. Forcing us to watch the Wild Cats, but also drawing up ancient memories of being thirteen and the friends we had and the crushes we held secret in our minds. I must also add that a John Denver soundtrack is playing on the surround sound stereo as well. It's a lot to take in.

I didn't plan to start my blog this way. I came down to reflect on Oregon, teens and why I am here. But there was too much going on around me to ignore it. I am starting a third round of "picking a college." Fourth round if I include myself, which I don't. Naomi asked me the other day, in front of other people during a discussion on colleges, "Why did you chose San Diego State?" I replied. "My parents were going through a horrible divorce and I wanted to go very far away." I think it took her a moment to realize she was the parent in the horrible divorce. She stood blinking a moment with a look one gets when they are trying to come up with a name from their past.

I am in Oregon because child number three has said for a year, when I ask about college, "I think I would like to go somewhere in Oregon." I finally said, "Well, perhaps we should GO to Oregon...just to get a sense of what it is like." She reluctantly agreed to spend the weekend with me and we flew up. It has been a whirlwind of driving and visiting campuses. It turns out she will probably not be a Beaver or a Duck  or a Pilot or any of the other Oregon mascots. She liked Oregon and so did I, and it has been a nice trip, but somewhere in the middle of the storm a really inspiring speaker changed her mind.

He was the humanities chair speaking about humanities in the middle of all our visits. We were in the humanities group because Paige is interested in English and writing. Only like any good teacher, he didn't stick to his script, but rather spent the time drawing in his audience and then like any good teacher...he inspired. The jest of the inspiration, after polling parents and students with questions was this, "Don't choose a major because you think it will be practical. Don't choose a major because your parents want you too. Choose something that interests you. Choose something that you love. Choose your passion. It will all turn out alright if you are doing what you love. It won't go so well if you are jumping through hoops for other people or because you think you are doing the right thing."

As we left the session and his speech, Paige said, "That was so great!" I said, "Yes! I loved it! You should definitely take a class from him if you end up here!" And she said, "I don't think I belong in Oregon at all. But I do think I should pursue film and the technical side of film. I was just too scared to admit it and say anything to you."

So, we are regrouping. We are in Oregon on our final night googling schools with film majors and formulating a new game plan. And because I was inspired as well, I am encouraging and helping with the change. I am also questioning myself. Did she start with English and writing because I kept telling her how great (and she is) she is?  Did the idea that this was her passion come from me and not her? I don't really know. But, I was proud that I rebounded quickly with her.

The Cinderella charity couple has left. Wild Cats has wrapped up and been replaced by National news. Tuesday is May 1st and high school seniors will make their choices for college. I hope they all followed their passion. I hope they all had the chance to hear a speech as inspiring as the one Paige and I heard. I hope if I go to a Disney themed charity event I will remember I am 49 and costume accordingly. I hope Wild Kingdom, Wild Cats edition is never more interesting to me then my husband.