My hair is brown. I paid big bucks for blonde hair before all this went down. I loved it. But the writing is on the wall, my hair stylist isn't coming back to me any time soon, so for the price of $14.99 I now have Corona hair. It is what it is. I don't hate it.
Early on my best friend posted an article about the need to "Pivot" during this time. The need to embrace a new normal and accept what you could. I liked that a lot. I like all the P words...perseverance, perspective, pride, popcorn...you name it I like a P word. So Pivot seemed amazing to add to the list. Only now I am pivoting like a mother fucking whirling dervish right into the ground.
We currently have 8 adults and teens and three dogs living here. We won't get into the fact that I downsized two years ago and sent most of these adults and teens on their way, that was pivoted through a few weeks ago. Six of the eight of us are in some kind of school. I had to make a ZOOM chart for the house and post quiet hours. Trust me when I tell you I was mocking others for this kind of behavior and thought I was past this stage in life and over chart making shenanigans. It turns out I was not.
I'm also long term subbing for first grade. At the beginning of March I walked out the classroom door for a two week spring break like a bad ass who was going to collect easy vacation money for the last quarter of school with all lesson plans done for the year. By March 20th I was trying to get 6 and 7 year olds onto google classroom and do all work digitally from a corner in my bedroom. I'm not sure what people understand a ZOOM lesson with 6 year olds to look like, but whatever you are picturing...add more chaos and disinterest and you still won't be close. Today Steven (the names have been changed to protect the innocent) cried because I didn't "call on him" to share about Mother's Day. Well Steven, you do participate in Zoom in your bed under your covers, but, yes I will try to be better next time with spotting your raised hand under your bedspread.
The politics of it all is ridiculous and could fill a hundred blogs. The common sense that runs deep in my veins screams loud at the hypocrisy of it all. It all being people. But I have learned to pivot past that. Just quietly tending to me and my people. Focused on my own house. It's a lesson many could pivot on.
Some days I find my silver linings and I'm thriving with our big family dinners and watching the kids laugh and spend time together, other days I'm stepping over shoes not put away and wiping down the kitchen counter while muttering bad words under my breath. Some days I thrive on the silver lining of everyone is healthy and employed and functioning, other days I can't get into my first grade Zoom with ease and I am almost crying when I finally start the class. Some days I am in love with wearing joggers and black V neck T-shirts by day and jammies by night (and by "night" I mean 4pm) other days I am buying beauty products from Tori Spelling off of instagram and searching for when my botox lady might be deemed essential. Some days I have real errands to leave the house for like an online grocery pick up or meat market purchase, other days I leave and the errands are pretend. I have no where to go but McDonald's for a large diet coke and then a quick sit in the homeless park parking lot while I catch up on the podcasts I used to listen to in the car when driving to dance and school for drop off and pick ups.
Anyway here we are all. My story is your story, we are all pivoting, we are all trying to make it through to the other side...only really no one can see the other side. Two months ago 38 people were dead from this thing, Today 82,000 and climbing. Projections of 147,00 by August. Irregardless we have opened the country, I mean we really have, we are, without following the guidelines originally laid out for us from CDC and then repeated by our President.. Good, bad or indifferent we are opening. Honestly? I am without an opinion on this. I see all the sides. Again, I can only do my own house, because my own house is a lot all on it's own.
So, pivot how you need to. I know some days it is graceful and other days? Like a mother Fucking whirling dervish into the ground...with your brown Corona hair flying around you.
