In May of 2021 I saw a mom that I had not seen in many years. The many years was two fold. One, our children had moved on to different sports and activities and we no longer traveled in the same mom lane, and two I hadn't seen any mom in over a year. Not seeing any moms in over a year was two fold as well. One, we are on our fourth child and she drives so my attendance at things is no longer needed and I am also somewhat lack luster in caring about attending, and two...there had been nothing to attend.
But that May I found myself in my closet trying to remember what people, what I, wore to functions, with this particular function being prom pictures. I am not going to lie. It seemed daunting, putting together a well thought out outfit, putting on make-up (as I was newly vaccinated and I would be outside and taking off my mask) and putting myself into a group of people. And I was going in blind. The prom was for seniors. The boyfriend was the Senior. I honestly had no idea who would be there. I was accustomed to prom pictures run by type A personality girls where I knew the moms and what I was walking in to.
It turns out the boy moms were lovely and I knew a few. It also turns out the boys are not type A personalities and the pictures have to be organized by a mom or dad who finally steps in because we have been standing around for awhile waiting for someone to take charge and we are ready to go home. The boys actually had no idea what pictures they wanted or what would look nice on their social media. All this made even more difficult by the fact that we were coming out of a pandemic and boys and girls hadn't been socializing together for over a year. But I digress...
At pictures was a mom I hadn't seen in many years. She asked if I had moved to New York. I was surprised by the question and just answered, "No." Later I thought about why she had asked and I took a fresh look at my social media, the only way she would really know anything about me. I was in New York a lot during the pandemic. We have two sort of adult college kids there. The pandemic was tough on two sort of adult college students living in the thick of the pandemic. And, to be honest, it was cheap to be in New York for long periods of time. So we would all test and mask up and I would spend time with them. So, in retrospect I am seeing that my many husbandless pictures in New York, could look more like, "Look at me. I'm on a new, possibly single woman, adventure in life." I wasn't. I was buying things for apartments, treating to dinners and trying to keep everyone moving in the right direction after months of solitude and some low points walking past refrigerator trucks placed on the street for bodies.
I was also experiencing New York in ways I never would have imagined.
I was there in March 2020 , moving one college girl home and preparing to leave another one in the eye of the storm, and watched the city shut down over three days. On a Sunday night my girls and I walked to dinner with all restaurants still open, but spaced and people were nervous, on Monday I had a drink in the hotel bar while the bartender and I watched the news in silence, on Tuesday the girls and I ordered take out from one of the few open restaurants (no one was on the streets) and on Wednesday I tipped the bellhop huge as he helped me take up the contents of a dorm room to our room. He said, "Thank you. I usually make enough money on this day to support my family for the next few months." It was St. Patrick's Day. I was the only person in the hotel and the only person tipping him. That night I looked out my window surrounded by three 30 story hotels...I was the only room with a person.
I would move her back in August 2020. The city was still shut down. I would find my self on the subway alone. I would walk through times square and it would be me and maybe two other people. Cab rides were quick and effortless, because there was no traffic. Food was take out or outside. New Yorkers were masked. Even outside and distanced from others, they were masked, They had been through it and they were not messing around. The true grit of the city and it's people was on display. I won't lie, there were moments to be enjoyed. I rode the Staten Island ferry alone. In years past it was a crowded shoving of hundreds of tourists and locals with limited seating. That August I rode it alone. I sat on an Adirondack chair at 30 Rockefeller Center drinking a beer purchased from a loan drink and food cart overlooking the empty shops and ice skating rink, I was alone. I visited Grand Central Station and walked by all the empty food stands as I looked for a bathroom. All closed. No desserts to be bought. Magnolia bakery was not up and running.
We spent Thanksgiving there that year. Everyone testing and retesting before flight, after flight. Everyone with their own room and bathroom, no shared spaces. Masked when we were indoors together. All family activities outside and Thanksgiving dinner was take out on the outside balcony of our hotel.
I would return in January 2021, during a blizzard, with Covid numbers on the rise again. But, the girls had returned to the normalcy of work. Their swim lesson jobs had resumed so I found myself with time on my hands. I bundled up and walked through Bryant Park. This time sitting to have a coffee and a few others would be there too. Small groups of people returning to life in the city. I would walk to Macys and Nordstrom and have most of the store to myself. The Staten Island Ferry, despite the bitter cold, was not just me. I was there with others. New Yorkers were at restaurants, outside in the snow, casually eating as if it were not 10 degrees and snowing. A resilience I loved.
In May of 2021 I am back again. This time armed with a tennis racket for my down time. The city is different again. It is coming alive. And I realize I have come to be a part of it's life. There is no longer the rush to "see" New York in all it's tourist glory. That has been done. Now there is time to "live" New York in all it's regular glory. I head out one morning with my tennis racket to hit up a local tennis wall and get some practice in. It takes awhile. Finding tennis balls at Target doesn't happen, they are out. Finding a tennis wall takes awhile, they are crowded or there isn't one where I thought there was. I am a little discouraged and reminded that I am not the New Yorker I had fancied myself to be. But, finally after great perseverance I find a darling wall with flowers framing it in a darling park with children playing and even some discarded tennis balls on the ground for use. Shortly in to my play, an older man in a wheelchair scoots his way on to the perimeter of my court. While I hit balls he scoots his way around the entire perimeter. with the continued sounds of children playing I hit balls, careful with his each move not to hit him or disrupt his journey.
Finally he settles himself in a shaded corner. I am high on life with the experience of playing tennis in the city I love and feeling a soft spot in my heart for this man who has worked so hard to make it to the park and enjoy the day quietly. As I hit balls I do notice he appears agitated in his process of settling in. Then I notice that his agitation seems to be becoming more pronounced. What if this man were to have a medical emergency? I tell myself I won't worry there are dads just steps away, I can yell out for help. I will monitor the situation and act when needed. It is wile monitoring the situation that I notice his agitation in "settling in" has a certain rhythm and intensity to it and sounds have been added. It is also then that I realize I may actually be a bit of New Yorker in my decision not to be bothered by the "settling in." I do not stop hitting balls. It took forever to get here and get set up. I'm not leaving. We will share the space we both found with our own perseverance and determined need. I do stop monitoring and just focus on my tennis.
Soon he is still and and settled and remains so for the duration of my time there. When leaving a dad enters with his kids on their bikes to ride on the concrete. He gives a head nod to the man in the corner. I realized there were still New York lessons to learn...my timing had been off. The dad knew what time to show up.
The walk back to my hotel took me past Magnolia Bakery. I have it in my head to stop and get dessert for later that night. In my first trips to the city before pandemic, the Magnolia bakery drove me nuts. I am not great with lines and waiting. Magnolia Bakery is all lines and waiting. But the pandemic had provided us with lots of great cupcakes grabbed quickly and efficiently while out and about. As I near the bakery, I see it. The line. There is a long line winding around the building to get in to Magnolia Bakery. I smile. I am happy for the city I love. I walk past, sad for the loss of my convenient baked goods.
As I leave New York that trip I take a taxi to the airport. New York taxi drivers are their own breed. It's everything you see in the movies and more. I once witnessed a total taxi driver melt down over Trump after he first became president. No big political statement on the part of driver, just mad as hell about the traffic he brought with him. A combination of elated victors and angry protestors stalled the roads in the city for weeks. For two years it has been quiet and trafficless. Getting around town has been pandemic effortless. Taxi drivers are quiet. On this day in May 2021 there is a slight backup on one street as we leave my hotel. We are delayed for maybe five minutes (in a past life you can sit for 15 or 20 minutes at a time). It is the first delay of it's kind. At 30 seconds in the driver starts yelling and honking his horn and muttering under his breath about what idiots the other drivers are. And there you are, New York on it's way back.
It is May 2022. We are here for graduation. I took a red eye and fell asleep in the taxi on the way in. It was a two hour taxi ride. The subway is packed, standing room only often. I don't have Macy's or Nordstrom to my self anymore. We went to Broadway.
I think of all times I listened to the doom and gloom from people about how New York would never rebound. It bounded. New York is thriving once again. It is a city I love. It holds my heart. When the mom asked if I had moved to New York, I should have answered, "Yes! Well, in my crazy mind I have for sure." But, I wasn't quick enough to be funny. It was my first social outing out after over a year. It had taken all my energy to put the outfit together.
Welcome Back New York. I never doubted you for a minute!
