I recently ran in to someone who was very excited I was on the cusp of becoming an empty nester. She isn't alone. A lot of people bring it up. I get it. I've raised four kids, and because of my sort of writing some of that has been semi-public in our small town.
These are the typicals...
Oh my goodness, you must be so sad...I'm not. It's time for them all to do their adult thing.
Wow, what will you and your husband do...yeah, great question I have suggested some things but right now we've mostly settled on talking about it at nauseum and and then retreating to separate corners for video games and documentary TV binging.
Soooo, last one is leaving. How does that feel?...good?
And then the recently, What will you do with all your time?
The conversation progressed as follows...
"Well, I have been making a lot of ice cubes. " I responded solidly.
"Ice cubes?" She questioned with a baffled look.
"Yes, like in fun shapes and flavors. Recently some cute stars for the fourth of July."
"Oh, did you have a big party?"
"No, just my husband and I." I answered noticing I had left her unimpressed so I reached for more.
"I am also considering a Tic Toc career with videos helping middle aged women dress better." I was in sweats, so this continued to leave the unimpressive glaze in her eyes.
"Oh, where would I find you on Tic Toc?" She was kind enough to genuinely ask.
"Oh, well I haven't figured out exactly how to work (or consistently spell correctly) tic tok yet so I am not sure how you would find me there." The unimpressive nature of my responses took a more permanent place in her eyes. But I was determined I could make it better, so I continued. "Also I am fairly politically active on twitter."
"Wow, that's great! How many followers do you have?"
"Like 10," I mumble, "my brother comments sometimes."
I then announce I need to get going, worried she will ask where to find me on twitter as I am remembering that I live in a ridiculously conservative town and she will not be a fan of my twitter "political activism." I should have led with...I have been taking tennis lessons for four years and, not to brag, but I am almost good enough to be a substitute on the Country Club C team.
So clearly I am slow to finding my footing as a retired empty nester.
I spend a lot of time "momaging" adult children. Fielding phone calls, dispensing asked for (but ignored) advice, venmoing support, listening, visiting and general adult children upkeep. Honestly, I like it. I'm not turning the kind of profit that Kris Jenner is with her "momaging," but I feel certain I can tart one of these girls up and get a video out there soon that will really take us to a profitable level.
With the impending empty nesting comes college move in number four. I am lackluster about this at best. The move in is a lot of work and a lot of emotion and it is always hotter than hell out. Luckily she seems to have a handle on it all, and as a born minimalist she keeps things simple by nature. To be fair to my "momaging" self, I've moved three kids into dorms, two of them across country like we will do for her, and I know what I am doing. And with Amazon being what it is now, the logistics are fairly easy. I have also made myself feel better about my lackluster feelings with the purchase of Harry Styles tickets for her and her sisters the weekend before the move in.
We leave her on a Thursday. I asked my husband where we should go afterward. He replied, "home?" I let him know we didn't have to go home. We could go someplace for the weekend before heading back across the country. I explained we did not need to rush home to our fun hobbies of video games and TV documentary binge watching. He was fairly noncommittal. I took this as a firm and excited yes, so we are stopping in Boston for the weekend. I don't have an agenda for us. Since I know the move in is draining. I sold him on a nice hotel and fun dinners with some walking sight seeing. It should be great. Or we will play video games and binge watch documentaries at the hotel.
Clearly, I should write more as an empty nester with time. And I think about writing more a lot as I make my ice and scroll through twitter. So today I wrote before heading to Trader Joes. And I put on a cute middle aged outfit for Trader Joes. Look for it on my Tic Tok!
